Which Came First, The Chicken Or The Egg?

As I get older, I realize that I have a bit of a condition I tried to suppress: Black Woman Attitude Syndrome. You know, that whole, unreasonable, impatient, snappy, on edge, neck-rolling attitude that you see in Black girls that makes you say, “Whoa! Shes doing the most”. Yeah…that. It’s almost like the more I try to chill, the more my chill switch breaks. We can’t be born this way, so what happened?

My theory is that the Black woman’s attitude and the Black man’s mentality are parallel. Meaning, with the way Black men handle life, relationships, families, etc. has caused Black women’s attitudes; and Black women’s attitude has caused the Black man’s life mentality.

When I talk about the Black man’s life mentality, I’m referring to the following: Rising numbers of unwed mothers, Infatuation with women of other races, “It it what it is” over commitment, Women being called bitches & hoes…(when the woman ISN’T a bitch or a hoe).

Y’all know I’m a realist.  I’m not angry at Black men or the way they think, and honestly, I don’t blame those that want to be with a White girl because they don’t have to deal with Black Woman Attitude Syndrome.  Hell, I’d probably be on that train with you. BUT, now I’m asking which came first? The Mentality or The Attitude? The Chicken or The Egg?  

I’ve dated White men, and I can truthfully say how they treat me reflects how I treat them.  They’re more chivalrous, respectful, and thoughtful, which I appreciate……BUT I LOVE ME A BLACK MAN! Let the church say, TRUUUU!!

Just consider this before you think the opposite sex is an extra headache that you could do without: Its been said that assimilation is the biggest downfall of African-American culture.

Word up.

P.S. Don’t get me wrong, I’m TOTALLY down for the swirl! Shit, I wouldn’t be here without some swirling. But, do it for the right reasons.

 

EvieTheCool Reebok Project: Briana Shani

I had the pleasure of being featured on http://www.EvieTheCool.com for the #weRchi Reebok Project.  I was featured on the site, got a dope pair of Reeboks (Freestyle’s in pink), and made a little video about my blog. 

Here’s the link to the post about me, and make sure to check out http://www.EvieTheCool.com for stay updated on all the dope things going on in the Chi!!

http://www.eviethecool.com/blog.html

Thanks to Evie (@EvieTheCool) and Reebok for allowing me to be a part of this project!

 

#DouchebagCuntWhore

Let me start by apologizing for the personal references that will be made in this post. That’s not really my thing, but I thought it was necessary today…so stfu and deal : ) I created the concept of a #DouchebagCuntWhore while reflecting on why my personal life was going the way it was going.  Every person at a certain point in their maturity needs to understand why they lack clarity, stability, and peace of mind. And so, #DouchebagCuntWhore was born.  What the fuck does that mean, you ask? Well, buckle up…

#DouchebagCuntWhore is that bottom point you reach in your life before you can truly progress.  Like, that ending point of childhood that you need to reach before you can fully embrace adulthood.  I wouldn’t necessarily say a rock bottom in your personal life, but damn near.  When you realize that you play a part in why you have all the fuckery going on with your family, love life, friendships, pointless drama, and so on…

DOUCHEBAG: A douchebag is someone who is an asshole on an entire different level.  Someone that literally doesn’t give a fuck about what they say or do or other people’s feelings, but not in a mean way.  Douchebags typically just live how they want and if you so happen to dislike it, they give negative fucks.  They normally think very, VERY highly of themselves.

CUNT: Many people don’t know the real meaning behind the Western usage of the word cunt, but it refers to a person that is mean and spiteful. And you can sprinkle a little conceited in there too.

WHORE: Well…we all know what a whore is.

More than likely, these things or a variation of them are traits you have that led you to this place of reflection.  I know it sounds a little crazy, but just think about them for a minute.  I bet #DouchebagCuntWhore has to do with said problems mentioned earlier.  It takes a strong person to admit these things about themselves, but I think this is one of those things that separate boys from men.  You know those women that are #DouchebagCuntWhores at 30?? That is not hot. At all.

Anyway, this post is to tell you that having that #DouchebagCuntWhore point in your life doesn’t last forever, it gets better if you admit it. Then you can fix it and start acting out how you really feel in your heart instead of the ratchett actions that just slip out.

Real nigga what’s up?

Any questions on #DouchbagCuntWhore, feel free to ask!  

 

Why She Wants A Title

So, here’s the thing.  Men are from Mars, women are from Venus…whatever that means. But, apparently that’s why we perceive life and relationships so differently.  I have a plethora of single friends and 9 out of 10 of them have the same problem:  They play the girlfriend role & have girlfriend feelings, but can’t get their man to commit.  Women obsess over this tittle and men look at it as, “Eh, I’ll get around to it”.  I’ll tell you right now, it’s not so much the title, but the enTITLEment.  Here’s a list of reason women will  force that title down your throat:  

*Warning, some reasons may be a little petty, but such is life.

  • If you know the game, you know that you really can’t ask a man about his whereabouts with other women.  All you can do is sit and wonder because nothing is more uncool than a women that isn’t TECHNICALLY “yours” asking about another woman.  We want to be able to ask, and you need to be a girlfriend for that.
  • We want loyalty! If we’re having a bad day and want to be held, we should be able to call you and know you’re going to be there. But without that title, she can’t even be mad if you don’t come!! “So, you not gone come? *Drake voice*”
  • I WANNA @ YOU, B!!! Yo, it’s so frustrating tweeting about how happy this man makes you and the things you want to do for him but since we’re not together I can’t @ you without looking thirsty or like a headass.  If I’m your girlfriend, I can @ you!  Or even be able to say your name in public without worrying that it will come back to you like im telling your business. Girlfriends are your business!
  • You aren’t obligated to anything. Um…no.  If I treat you like my man 364 days out the year and you accept it, but don’t feel obligated to be my Valentine, there’s a problem.  Having that title gives both parties obligations so no one has to wonder what they deserve out of the relationship.
  • I can’t get an attitude about that bitch I don’t like texting you! First of all, I don’t like her so that’s strike one. Second, even though I’d never tell a man to stop texting someone, I want to be able to have the right to complain about it.
  • I don’t have to worry about you only wanting me for my cookies.  That’s a huge fear women have allllllll the time.  We don’t mind being sexual with someone we want to be in a relationship with; but, sometimes we might hold back out of fear.  Men have a history of lying and faking entire relationships just for some vag, and we keep that in mind.  If we were in a relationship you could get all the smushing you want, any and everywhere, with no hesitation.
  • Being able to utter the words, “My Man” without looking like a headass.
  • She really wants you in her life for the long run, but you cant get there, or even get to that conversation until you’re in a relationship.  People can have these “it is what it is” relationships for over a year without realizing that your feelings can be through the roof by this time.  Feelings don’t go away just because the title isn’t there.

The struggle most definitely is real.  But THIS is why women want you to make that move. So, take the initiative or move on because the in between aint the move.

Why Your Man Might Not Forgive Your Infidelity

Infidelity for men has become somewhat accepted in our society.  But when it comes to women, of course, its a double standard.  If a woman cheats on her man, she’s judged more harshly and gets less chances to redeem herself. But why is this? Cheating is cheating, right?

Well. I’m a firm believer in trusting someone to be who they are. For decades we’ve called men dogs, and some even welcome the label with open arms.  Now, let’s think about this. Dogs piss on fire hydrants to mark their territory, and even when they leave they can always come back and smell their piss on the hydrant. If another dog pisses on his hydrant, he’s gonna find a new one to piss on. You know why? Because he doesn’t want anyone else to have ownership for something he already claimed.

In this case, the hydrant is the woman, and the piss represents semen. And there we have it.  That’s exactly why cheating perceived differently for men and women.  Until women want to claim the label as a dog (which we CLEARLY don’t because we totally denounce being called a bitch), the shit will be different.

I’m definitely not saying men should go around pissing on a new hydrant every time another dog is caught sniffing around. But, I’m putting the pieces of the puzzle together.  Cant get mad when you know the game. Remember that.

I Wish That I Knew What I Know Now, When I Was Younger

In a time of reflection, I realized that I GET IT. What do I get, you ask? I get the game. Now, I’m not saying that I always know what to do or that I do the right thing, but I am saying that I understand it. I understand cause and effect, I understand when to take things personal, and I understand when to charge it to the game.  Being 22, I think that this is the time when you sink or swim.  Half of my friends get it, so we know how to deal with situations and know how not to get treated.  The other half, however, doesn’t get it and are stuck in what I like to call “headass situations”.  So, I came up with a list of things that I wish I knew earlier. And I want to share it with you guys. Enjoy :)

1.  If you do not want to have sex with a man, don’t go over his house.  He’s going to try to cross the friendship line. So, to prevent unwanted interaction, just don’t.

2.  If you are not in a relationship, you have NO rights.  You cannot trip over a person not calling you, not seeing you, choosing you over his other chicks, nothing.  You have no title so he can do these things without the nagging.

3. People will try you.  Men and women will pull your card just to see what they can get away with. And this is their sole intention; it’s an ego thing.

4.  Once you define your role, it’s VERY difficult to get out of it.  For example, if you play house with someone, it’s hard to go from playing to real life.  Be careful, and try your hardest to start in the position you want to end in.

5.  Know when situations are personal, and when to charge it to the game.  You can’t get in your feelings about every situation when you lose. Yes, sometimes it’s completely about YOU, and that’s why you lost. But other times, those L’s are part of the game.  Charge it to the game and keep it moving.

*Headass- Someone that continuously makes mad decisions; lives with their head up their ass.

Third Time’s a Charm

Have you been watching MTV’s Guy Code? It’s a pretty informative show for women, I must say.  Listening to a man is way smarter than always listening to your girlfriends. During a talk with one of my male friends I was put up on game that I wanna share with you. I was told that in MOST cases, the 3rd time you have sex with someone is when you start to have feelings for them. Women AND men get feelings at this point. So, apparently, if a man only has sex with you twice, it’s because he knows the next time will come with some extra stuff that he either doesn’t want, or isn’t ready for. I know it sounds a little silly at first, but then I started to look at my own dating history and it was pretty much true. That THIRD time is the kicker. The time when you think that it could go further than “it is what it is”. It’s a very interesting concept. Now, with this information ladies and gents, you can go forth and be the master of your emotions. If you don’t want anything more, you can go with the two-hitter-quitter and attempt to avoid all the dramatics. You have any “Third Time’s a Charm” stories? Dont be afraid to share!

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